After my last post, a dear friend and fellow mom called me. (The kids and I were on our way out the door to, yes, the mall.) She was feeling the same way as I was. So, after talking for a bit, we decided to hit the rec center. Us, and our 5 kids total (giddy up).
As for how it went, well, it's not MY first choice of what to do with my time, but then I
remember - it isn't about me. The kids were content to play in the shallow end, while we sat and discussed why moms feel the way we do and how to get out of it. As our children grew restless, they would - one by one - come over and ask for our undivided attention. We of course were very busy deep in discussion about why we can't just engage our children. HAHA. We realized that we were guilty even at that moment. (Why children can't enjoy just being in water with other children I will never understand. A child just wants their mom I suppose.) So, we headed in. Upon entry it was, "look mom", "watch me mom", "follow me mom". Oh, okay. We did. We looked, we watched, we followed. And yes, 2 of my children (who don't swim) even stuck their heads under the water without plugging their noses. (And no, I didn't push them into the deep end, although one did accidentally fall in- and yet he's still alive.)
I could go on and on about my theories, and the ones "A" and I talked about this morning at the pool...but I shall leave that for another time. As for how to get out of such a rut....well "A", we took the first steps - we just did it, and even better, we did it with a friend. I suppose everything that does not come natural to us begins with making the decision to act. See you tomorrow night friend. (Let's just not overdo it too soon!)
Oh, and one last thing. I got the kiddo's home only for the whining and fighting to start right back up. "I'm hungry, I don't want an apple, she took my chair, thump......" Too bad. Eat the apple, don't hit your sister, get off his chair, and now watch a movie while I blog again and go mow the lawn. Only thing is...there wasn't quite so much guilt attached as this was all taking place, because I had done my part (for 2 hours at least), and now I can move forward fully knowing that they are just being kids, rather than little reflections of my mistakes and selfishness.
Off to my lawn now. (Oh, and there is a load in both washer and dryer and 2 that need folded.)