Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Playing House

Ahhhh, a favorite past time (especially for girls).... playing "house". What were we thinking girls?? If only it were as glamorous as our school girl imaginations made it out to be. Being on the other side of it now, where I see 1) what real "house" looks like, and 2) the interpretations that my kids come up with, are both funny and a little surreal.

This morning began our new venture of homeschooling. (As a child, I used to play "school" a lot too.) I can't even tell you how many times throughout my days, I look around and wonder whose life I'm living ... and when do I resume my own life??? Most days it feels like a dream (and every now and then, I'll admit, maybe even a bad dream). It never takes me very long to realize that it is in fact real, I won't be waking up, and yes - this is my life. Don't get me wrong ... a wonderful life it is. (Sorry, I just couldn't bring myself to write there that it's a wonderful life. haha)
I think I've moved away from my thoughts a bit, let me return ....

So we started homeschooling. I have been so scared the last few weeks about our new journey in life. Mostly I've been afraid of Providence's "classes". I really think they are going to make her re-do the 3rd grade. Only, this morning, it hits me ... Eden and Sam are going to be my challenge. I have no idea how to teach a child to read. In fact, it's one of those things (like potty-training) that I swear I never had to LEARN. Why are such things "learned behaviors"? And am I qualified to teach them to my children?? Well, they all use the bathroom on their own (mostly), so maybe I'll make it through this too.

It is just so funny to me though how many times I've felt like I'm "playing school" in the weeks leading up to today. I set up a cute little room just for school. I hung these beautiful, colorful pictures to help them learn their letters, measurements, telling time, dates, presidents, etc.... I was ready to go!!! Then the reality of playing house hit this morning for the first time. I pulled out the very real books and taught my very real 3rd grader, kindergartner, and pre-schooler. I was working with very real obstacles (like a 5 year old who can't sit still for longer than about 3 minutes), and very real time (of which all 3 kids want my time at the same time). Oh, and the very real laundry that I thought as a child was a fun easy part of being a mom, was unbalancing my washing machine and scaring the children as it began to growl loudly at them. (The monster basket of towels that are clean next to the washer is what was scaring me.)

Well, it's final. I'm not playing house or school anymore. This is really my life. Life will never be the same. There will be no normal. There probably won't be a new normal even ... because it will always be changing. The verdict is in though after 8 years of the jury being out .... I love it ! This real life is better, even in all it's challenges, than the one I dreamed up as a little girl. It is full, it is filled with joy, it is hard but rewarding (or will be one day), it is messy, it stretches me to the limit, it is filled with responsibility, it is real. It's is all good. It's hard to imagine that God has entrusted me ... little old me ... with so much. But He decided I was ready for it. To whom much is given, much is expected. I just pray I can come close to some of the expectations!

So now, this very real mom who is still in her pajamas at 12:30 pm listening to her 4 year old throw a fit, should probably leave the computer now. Back to real life. Back to reality. (Someone should write a song about that. :) )

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