Certainly humble pie has 0 calories, right??? Cuz I ate the whole pie tonight and didn't exercise today - so I sure hope so.
I was blown away by the response to my Pretty Woman Meets Hot Mama blog post. My blog has been shared and spread across Facebook over the last 24 hours, and I've received more "hits" on my blog than ever before. While I have been so blessed to see the response of many stating how thankful they were for my words, I neglected to really take into account some of those words. I have allowed the emotion of how so many can be encouraged by my words override the reality that just maybe...I have wounded with my words.
Early this morning I received a call from the founder herself of Hot Mama. She was very apologetic and kind regarding the situation yesterday. (Apparently she has even received a handful of emails today in regards to my post.) I was pleasantly surprised by how she was handling the entire thing. She had read my complaint I sent in, as well as my blog. (Gulp.) She assured me this is NOT the character of their store or values. It appears to be an isolated incident in a field that is sure to have such misunderstandings happen. (Seriously!!! Have you ever worked retail?? It is pretty awful.) She told me that Hot Mama wanted to make things right. The conversation closed, and I thought that was the end.
Until this evening.
As Aaron and I were on our way to a date night, I received a call from the saleswoman herself. She was sobbing. She too had just read my blog. You know. The one where I said I wanted to punch her in the face and called her names of my own. Yeah. That one. She explained her heart to me (including how awful it feels to read that someone wants to punch you in the face), her genuine love of moms, her intentions in what she spoke to me in the store, etc. I did stand my ground and voice that it is NEVER okay to say to ANY woman that they carry weight in any one particular are of their body. But beyond that...... humble pie. It doesn't taste very good.
I realized in an instance how my insecurities and my frustrations came out to the entire Internet World about a woman who I did not know. I made a judgment of character through one brief interaction. Because I was wounded - I wounded. This, my friends - is NOT okay. I truly am the worst of sinners, and have no reason to slander anyone. We all make mistakes. We all say things we wish we could shove back in our mouths. We all mess up. She messed up. Then I messed up. It's not pretty. Such is the world we live in.
After a truly genuine and great conversation with this saleswoman where we could hear and understand each other - I hung up and began to feel the weight of my words. I realized that my insecurities had won (again). What I intended to encourage others .... and in a way, did .... was not as pure as I had hoped. I lashed out at the thin girl, because I am not. (She actually IS a mom, and stated that she hasn't always been thin. Huh....) I did exactly what I didn't want done to me. I don't want to be judged for my definition of beauty by the skinny girls. Yet I sit in judgement of them. I assume they all starve themselves and judge me. But that just isn't true. Sometimes, maybe .... but it is not for me to know or judge.
Why do women do this?? Working moms vs Stay at home moms. Skinny girls vs fat girls. Rich vs poor. The list goes on. But us women?!?!?! We are BRUTAL! And more often than not - we are most brutal against the women we wish we were. I am the worst.
I am saddened that in a post that encouraged so many, I deeply wounded one. That isn't who I want to be. It's not what I stand for. I'd like to think it isn't who I am. But at the end of the day - regardless of what is or isn't ... I am reminded of the one truth that Jesus died for all of us. Skinny, fat, talented, dumb, smart, rich, poor, sinner or saint.
Who am I to cast the first stone???
*****I do still stand behind every other opinion I voiced in yesterday's blog.....other than my judgement on this sweet woman and the company Hot Mama. For that I am sorry.*****