Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Word - 2015

Happy 2015.

I can't say that I am sad to see 2014 go.

I like New Years. I understand that behavior and circumstances didn't just miraculously change from December 31, 2014 to January 1, takes effort to grow into who we want to be (or shrink as goes the case with most people's Resolutions), not just the flip of a Calendar page. But I still like the feel of a clean slate. I think of Marilla Cuthbert (from Anne Of Green Gables) saying, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." Then I think of Anne breaking the slate over Gilbert's head because I just used the phrase clean slate......

Where was I.....

The past few years I have gone the route of choosing a word for the year. It just seems healthier to me than a list of Resolutions, that according to my Myers-Briggs Personality Type I will break in 2-4 days anyway.

This year I chose three (well, fourish) words. Call me an overachiever if you want, but really, I just needed three (or four) words. 2014 was a year, more than any other year I can ever remember, that I allowed myself to believe lies...not just believe them, but be crushed by them. Feelings of not being enough - good enough, smart enough, business minded enough, holy enough, healthy enough, motherly enough, wifely enough, friendly enough....I just never measured up last year it seemed (well, so it seemed to me). Living in this robs one of much joy, and is incredibly exhausting. So for 2015, I will pray for, and Lord willing return to what I know is true and live out of these three to four words instead:

TRUTH - "and you will know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH will set you free." John 8:32

STRENGTH and REST "In returning and REST you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your STRENGTH." Isaiah 30:15

JOY - "Let me hear JOY and gladness, let the bones you have broken REJOICE .... Restore to me the JOY of my salvation and uphold with me a willing spirit." Psalm 51:8-11

So how do I do this? I sit at the feet of Jesus and let His word remind me that because HE is enough, I am enough. I turn off social media MUCH MUCH more, so as to not compare my imperfect self to the perfect pictures and status updates that we all post. I choose to be present, instead of wishing I was somewhere else. (This one will be a very tricky one, and has been a goal for as long as I can remember....thankfully I'm still here, which means sanctification isn't over yet and I get to keep working on it!) I can laugh at myself, mistakes, and failures instead of allowing them to crush me - and in doing so will hopefully allow them to mold me in a healthy way instead of destroying me. Instead of complaining about the things that hinder my health (no running, no crossfitting, physical pain, weight, etc....), I continue to thank God for the resources I have to be able to treat my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. No more, no less. This list is starting to sound very resolutiony. The point is this: truth, strength, rest and joy have nothing to do with me and my efforts - and everything to do with Jesus and his efforts which have already been accomplished. Time to remember this truth - not only remember it, but live in it.

I bought a book sometime in the last year or two and read only part of it, as is normal for me. I resolve to finish it this time. (Better get it done in 2 - 4 days, I suppose!) It's called, "One Way Love - Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World", by Tullian Tchividjian. First chapter in and I came across this gem....

"Jesus came to liberate us from the weight of having to make it on our own, from the demand to measure up. He came to emancipate us from the burden to get it all right, from the obligation to fix ourselves, find ourselves, and free ourselves. JESUS CAME TO RELEASE US FROM THE SLAVISH NEED TO BE RIGHT, REWARDED, REGARDED, AND RESPECTED. Because Jesus came to set the captives free, life does not have to be a tireless effort to establish ourselves, justify ourselves, and validate ourselves."

Thanks be to God, I have hope for today, tomorrow, and all of 2015.

Happy New Year!